Today I went over to see Tink. I was supposed to be at her house for 11, but I slept in because I couldn't sleep the night before, and ended up waking at 12:15. I then proceeded to have one of those days, where everything falls out of your hands, nothing seems to be going right, and you stub your big toe on every damned piece of furniture. I eventually left the house at 2, and discovered that the beautiful day that I was promised by the weatherman, was in fact a constant raging, frozen wind. I started to bike over, and realized that my back tire was losing air. I dropped by juice bottle on the way over, and was almost blown off the Leaside bridge after a huge gust toppled me off my bike. The whole way over, I felt like I was getting sick. Once you get pneumonia, you develop the ability to feel the sickness coming. You can tell what is good phlegm, and which is bad. The smells get to you, and it drives you crazy.
After what seemed like 25 minutes of bike-riding, I finally got to Tink's, only to discover that it had actually taken me 7 minutes and 24 seconds, just 75 seconds shy of my record. When I got there, Tink and I headed straight to her room, so that I could collapse on her bed and rest. From that moment on, my day was flipped upside down. Everything seemed to click. For 5 hours, we didn't move from that bed. We didn't turn on the TV, but instead just lay there listening to the 2 CDs I had made her. We were waiting for the Passover dinner, and were both exhausted. We didn't want to move, and even if we had the energy, we probably would have chosen to stay in each other's arms.
At one point during Pink Floyd's "Flaming," I turned over to look at her and felt happy. Truly happy.
"I could die right now Clem....I'm just happy."
I figured it was probably just the way the light was on her face that made her skin seem extra soft, or the fact that her eyes looked like they were changing colors. (I like to look at them and try to catch them changing colors, as if they did it behind my back on purpose.) It might have also been because of the song. Lately, I've found that "Flaming" suits whatever mood I'm in. If I'm happy, it proudly encourages me to be more cheerful. If I'm sad, it nurtures me and makes me teary eyed. These factors, plus the daze of a spring afternoon all made me realize that THAT moment would never be erased.
As if my luck of being truly happy wasn't enough, about 30 minutes later, Ani Difranco's "Joyful Girl" came on, and I fell right back in love my with happiness. I started to wonder what was passing through Tink's head as she listened to a song that I'm sure she's heard dozens of times before. I began to focus on her eyes again, and wouldn't you know it........I felt happy. Again. I've always believed that the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Today, it felt like the gateway in my eyes had opened wide and our souls had danced along our passionate gaze. The feeling of weightlessness, without floating around, because you feel that right there, at that moment, everything makes sense. You're grounded. Everything in the world becomes clear. It is of no importance though, because you forget about every piece of matter outside of that warm bubble.
We went and had dinner, chatted with the parents, which was awkward as always, and eventually returned to her room. There, she fell asleep in my arms, and just as I noticed how beautiful she was with her eyes closed, dreaming, a certain song started playing from her boombox........
Alone in the Clouds all blue
Lying on an eiderdown yippee
You can't see me but I can you
Lazing in the foggy dew
Sitting on a unicorn no fear
You can't hear me but I can you
Watching buttercups cup the light
Sleeping on a dandelion too much
I won't touch you but then I might
Streaming through the starlit skies
Travelling by telephone
Hey ho here we go
Ever so high
Alone in the clouds all blue
Lying on an eiderdown yippee
You can't see me but I can you