Time: 4:03am. After watching the same damn knife infomercial, and the Alzare infomercial, which I watched last night. I am officially announcing that I am going to see a psychiatrist of some sorts. I don't know when, I don't know where but I must before the summer arrives.

For the other Transylvanians in the audience, I do recommend the Alzare infomercial. The product is some male enhancement tablet, but the gold lies in the premise, and the Alzare representative. Apparently if it looks like a talk show, and they have a crappy talk show opening, it must be a talk show. The infomercial tries to con us, the first of many cons for their actual customers I assume, into believing that this product is so popular that a show actually decided to waste one day to talk about it. Everything is fake beyond fake. The only interesting part I find, is the representative. I forget his name, because let’s be honest, if you peered into the eyes of Satan, you would forget a thing or two as well. The mannerisms, the attitude, the body language, it all cries out evil!!! His eyes are like two bricks of charcoal, and he has a grin only Linda Blair could love. The audience questions are sometimes well-thought, but mostly they’re trash. At one point, one of the audience members comes on to one of the special female guests (whores pulled from the street I’m guessing). So I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I think I’m crazy, and any sleepless bastard like myself should watch this infomercial. Watch the Alzare man pitch it to you at the end, and tell me you don’t feel like either buying his product, out of fear, or having children, so that you’re firstborn sacrifice will be ready by the next equinox.