Friday, January 23 2004, I, Steve Massey, flew. It lasted less than a second, and I wasn't trying to fly, but it happened. It happened on my way to meet Tink at the bus depot (Ha! Depot. What a stupid word.). I was galloping down the steps at Woodbine station, step....step, jump 2 steps, and so forth. Now I had a bounce in my step because I was on my way to see Tink. As I reached about halfway down the flight of stairs, the subway vacuum kicked in and the outside air began to rush in behind me. An instant later I heard the faint rumbling of a subway through the wind’s whistling (ooo alliteration). Of course, not wanting to be late at the bus “depot,” I started to pick up the pace. With about 5 steps left, the rush of air from the speeding subway raced up and met me. All I remember, is that while I was jumping over the fourth or third last step, it seemed as if the outside air crashed into my back with the speed of a white Ford Bronco. For an instant of time, only measurable by my spidey sense, I began to fall towards an inevitable face-crushing doom, but all of a sudden, the intensity of the subway air seemed to counterbalance my falling. And for a brief moment, maybe even an instant existing between time itself, I felt my body become weightless, and saw everything around me dip slightly. It wasn’t a big difference, but just enough to notice, like when you hang a new favourite poster on the wall. You want everything to be exact, but it’s just slightly askew. Nobody else notices, but to you it’s as obvious as a red neon light flashing “Nipples.”

I decided to wait a few days to think about it, and to also return to Woodbine station, the scene of the crime (since I did break a law, NEWTON’S THIRD LAW BABY!). After carefully reviewing the tape, the call stands. I did not have any mind altering substances inside me at the time (it had been around 3 days since), and I wasn’t in a semi-somnambulant state, I love that phrase, because I had been awake for about 6 hours, and had played Vice City before I left. That always wakes me up. I can’t think of anything I’ve missed, with the exception of those second-last, and final steps.


Kiss my hairy aviatin' ass!