If any of the following lacks coherence, or seems like utter nonsense. It might be because my writing has started to focus on pleasing me, and not others. Just like every other part of my life, this is probably a phase, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find my next postings to be exactly the same as last week’s.

Well......this is going to be hard. I guess I should start off my giving a few warnings. I am not going to talk about anything that happened in the movie. It seems ironic calling this a review, but that’s the best way to put it. I’m going to explain my night, which was occupied by that movie. I should also warn, that some of you aren’t going to believe what I write. Some of you won’t even like what I write, and might not come back. I also warn you that it might get a little depressing. (I had to add the last warning mid blog.)

As I stated, I am not going to mention the movie’s contents at all, because of my experience. I won’t even post a picture, or paste a link. I truly believe that every single person should walk into this movie blind. If some of you already know what happens, it could ruin the movie. Imagine finding out that Bruce Willis is dead the whole time, then watching The Sixth Sense for the first time. Now multiply by about 10 and that’s how screwed you are. Critics hated this movie. And they should. Most critics find out what movie they’re reviewing before they see it, hence destroying The Butterfly Effect’s premise.

Here begins where most of you question my sanity, and wonder how many drugs I took. I absolutely loved TBE. It was something that took me by total surprise, and consequently, turned my world upside-down. I didn’t think I’d say this, but I thought Ashton Kutcher was great. I think he nailed this movie. It does have some flaws, now that I think about it, but if you’re able to get into the “It’s just a movie, it doesn’t have to make sense.” mind frame, you will thoroughly enjoy this movie. The special effects were also ridiculed in every review I read. They weren’t industry revolutionary...but they were perfect for the context.

Throughout this movie, I questioned many things. God, faith, my future, my past, my sanity, Physics, reality and the virtual universe, among numerous others that I can’t find the words to describe. TBE was 113 minutes long, and the worst part was the ending. While I was watching the movie, I felt like it should never end. There were points when I felt that it couldn’t end, there was no way anyone could wrap this movie up. Of course there was an ending, and it was horribly disappointing, yet easily predictable.The ending of the movie, also brought on a sudden urge to know who the writers were.

Once the movie was over, however, there began another experience. To answer the validity of my sanity, and if drugs were used.....well........sometimes I don’t understand my own mind, and yes. Lots. Too much in fact. When drugs are used, a person’s emotional stability is greatly affected. I nominate myself as an excellent example. While some of my actions were exaggerated, there was just cause. When I was sitting at the freezing bus stop waiting for the Don Mills transfer, I found myself crying (the first of three occasions since TBE) at just how much TBE freaked me out. This might have been heavily influenced by Tink withdrawal, but I can confidently say, it was mostly the movie.

TBE had such a terrifying effect on me, that I don’t want to eat anything, and I can’t talk to anybody. I’ve avoided all personal meetings, to lie in my room on my bed. I woke up at 10:30am and aside from calling Tink, and writing this review (currently 4:40pm), I haven’t moved. I can’t. I keep zoning out, focusing on the mundane details of some trivial object, like the tiny circles that protect my speaker’s woofer, or the ingredients on a Mars bar wrapper. While I focus on these meaningless things, I begin to go over the movie in my head, analyzing, finding hidden threads, and reorganizing the plot. This wouldn’t be so bad, except that after these “zone outs” I find myself shaking all over. Nowhere near violent shaking, but enough to scare me.

I’ve officially decided that things aren’t looking too good for me. I’ve talked to Sean (who I saw the movie with last night) and found out that thankfully, I didn’t black out. If I had blacked out last night, I can’t even imagine what my life would be like today. If I could explain the mainframe that I’m in right now, I guess, could be described as:

• I don’t want to move my face. Making my face feel numb after about an hour.
  
• I’m in my room with the lights off, and the blinds drawn, to achieve total darkness.
  
• I have Tink’s crocheted blanket over my face, so that everything is covered in glowing, blue, grid.
  
• and lastly, “Mad World” has been repeating over and over for the last 2 hours.
  

Sounds pretty bad huh? Well when Adam asked me how the movie was, I simply stated:

“It has taken me to a very, very dark place in my mind.”

I’ve known about this place ever since I was young. I used to have terrible nightmares, some involved my death, which tended to be gory. The worst nightmares that I had, were the ones where I was conscious. I knew what was happening and I couldn’t do anything. It was as if I had lost control and I was being tortured. The methods were bizarre, some involving a repeating pattern, some where I was just walking down the street. How can this be torturing, you ask? (If anyone’s still there) Well, once you do something over and over, to the point where you know exactly what will happen and how it will eventually destroy you, it can become quite scary.

Now if anyone I know is reading this, don’t worry. If you read certain parts of this blog, especially the Mad World part, one can understand how this might sound suicidal. Well, I’m not. I have too much love for life to ever kill myself. I would never forgive myself. Sure, I’ve had suicidal thoughts, but it doesn’t mean I’d ever do anything. My life is mine, and no one will ever take it, not even me.

At this point, having just opened that up, I don’t know what to write. I guess this is as good a time as any, to stop. I figure I should probably get back to reviewing the movie, but since this blog has already reached an incredible length, I’ll wrap it up. TBE is probably a terrible, terrible movie. I wouldn’t know. I prepped myself, throughout the day, to get really messed up that night. Lack of sleep, empty stomach and a large amount of marijuana. These factors normally spell out a great time, but this movie had different motives. I ended up getting so into the movie, that at some points, it actually felt like I was watching myself. At this point, most of you are yelling “What a fucking pothead.” or “dumb stoner.” Granted. I probably deserve every one of those stereotypes, but that’s what I wanted. I wanted to experience this movie. 10 years from now, I’m not going to give a rat’s ass about “A Guy Thing,” or 2010, but I guarantee that it will take a long time to forget about this movie experience. And that my friends, is why I am a film fanatic. They can seem idiotic and pointless to some, and revolutionary to others. The spectrum of a film’s meaning is endless. Every possibility you’ve ever thought of, can be replicated in someone else’s mind. We all go through the same scenarios. We just choose the ones we like. We believe what appeals to us, and outlaw the unimaginable. Movies are a powerful medium. They harness an undiscovered power, that many of us don’t realize. It will be interesting when someone discovers the undiscovered.

If anyone that has seen the movie, read this. Do not post any comments about the movie itself. I want to make sure that no one accidentally finds out anything about the story, and ends up having the movie ruined. I would also like to note that I did in fact watch Final Destination 2 when I got home and that this morning I decided to look up who wrote TBE,as well as read everything I could about what the movie meant. I ended up downloading all the desktop backgrounds, screensavers, trailers, and flash programs to keep my mind at ease. After much googling, I did find out that there were two writers for TBE. The two of them only had one movie to their film writing history......Final Destination 2.