Tonight, I had my first taste of university. It was finally time to tread to St. George, and endure my server training seminar. I had been having second thoughts about this whole thing, ever since it was postponed last week. By Wednesday, I was already thinking of bizarre situations where I would be liable, and eventually be sued, consequently ruining my life. Since there was nothing good on TV, I decided to attend anyways.

When I arrived I found myself locked out of the building, along with another woman. Thanks to my knowledge of the U of T campus, I got into the building through the loading dock. I found that door, after one of my fellow cast members on “Masse Mensch,” told me where they liked to hide from the campus police on Friday nights. Once I got into the building, I found Room 108, and walked in. For a moment, I thought that I had walked into the wrong room. Here are about 30 students, with notebooks, highlighted texts, all talking to each other. By the time I noticed that I was in an auditorium, I felt like everybody was looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted one of the Server Training Manuals, that I was holding, and relaxed. I took a seat near the front, behind a pretty girl, in hopes that I could copy off of her. How bad is that? Teacher hadn’t even said a word, and I was already planning on cheating.

With a few minutes to spare, about 7 girls, and 2 guys came in. They all sat down around the pretty girl. It seemed that they were all friends, and some had come just to support the others. I started to get a little worried, as each person, pulled out there notebooks, containing at least 10 pages of hand-written notes, and their manuals, which were highlighted from margin to margin. I looked back at my untouched manual, and a pen that I had brought. And I thought that bringing a pen and pencil was being prepared...

The course itself, was pretty cool. The teacher, who seemed like a hard ass at the beginning, turned out to be a really nice guy, as long as you showed him respect. After 2 hours, I could have sworn that I had only been sitting there for 30 minutes. After 2 hours, however, time slowed to a halt. I did learn many things, but I spent most of my time fixated on the two girls in front of me, and daydreaming about how much I’m going to enjoy university life. It made my realize just how excited I am for the whole experience, and how lucky I am to have Tink. Each girl suffered from an ailment that I find completely unappealing. One had “Back Crack,” where the skin on the back folds up to make a nice, unattractive butt crack along the spine, and the other suffered from, what I call, “Stalactite Syndrome.” She was thin...very thin. There were parts on her body, where it actually looked like there were dents on her body, or small caves. A lot of guys I know go for really thin girls, but that’s just disgusting. It’s almost like walking around in damaged goods. Blech.

By the end of the seminar, after a whopping 4.5 straight hours of “blah blah blah,” I took the test. There were a few moments where I got a little panicky, but I feel everything was copacetic. The exciting part of the night came, when I found out that I get a photo ID card if I pass. I like photo ID cards. All of my best photos have been for ID cards (My TTC Student Card is my favourite). So now we just sit back and wait to find out if I can legally serve wine to 50 year old theatre buffs.

It was also the 40th anniversary of The Beatles first arrival in the U.S. I'm excited about the anniversary because everywhere I go, I hear beatles tracks, and I now have an excellent method to make my mother feel really old. She was 11. My favourite was always George, but ever since I saw Yellow Submarine, I can't seem to make up my mind. I've been trying to find a website that explained the significance of each beatle, but so far no such luck. It was a review of Vanilla Sky, and explained the meaning behind each beatles' personality, and what each Beatle would have done if they were in that Lucid Dream. I remember that John would have stayed and kept dreaming, Paul would have left, and I think that George would have tried to get people out. I have no idea what Ringo was. I wish I could find that site. Also for those who didn't watch Letterman, you missed out on an excellent tribute to the Beatles. I've seen brief clips of their legendary performance on Ed Sullivan, but never the whole way through. No Blue Meany could have ruined my viewing.